To navigate the social universe, you need to know what others think of you—although the clearest view depends on how you see yourself.

By Carlin Flora, published on May 01, 2005 – last reviewed on December 20, 2011

I gave a toast at my best friend’s wedding last summer, a speech I carefully crafted and practiced delivering. And it went well: The bride and groom beamed; the guests paid attention and reacted in the right spots; a waiter gave me a thumbs-up. I was relieved and pleased with myself. Until months later—when I saw the cold, hard video documentation of the event. As I watched myself getting ready to make the toast, a funny thing happened. I got butterflies in my stomach all over again. I was nervous for myself, even though I knew the outcome would be just fine. Except maybe the jitters were warranted. The triumph of that speech in my mind’s eye morphed into the duller reality unfolding on the TV screen. My body language was awkward. My voice was grating. My facial expressions, odd. My timing, not quite right. Is this how people saw me? It’s a terrifying thought: What if I possess a glaring flaw that everyone notices but me? Or, fears aside, what if there are a few curious chasms between how I view myself and how others view me? What if I think I’m efficient but I’m seen as disorganized? Critical, but perceived as accepting? (more…)


Welcome to “Call Me Sunshine”, my motivational site where you can come everyday and be inspired to have a more positive day. 🙂

I’ll be adding more content regularly. My goal is to provide resources for motivational, self improvement and inspirational meditation and thought. With all the crazy things in life, we all need a place to come and relax, smile and let our thoughts wonder. Here, I hope to shine a little sunlight on your day. Bringing positive energy to others brings good things to my day as well 🙂

Have a wonderful day and week. I hope you will stop by often and share your positive energy with others as I have shared mine with you!!